Love and Light

I've had some stuff brewing in my head lately. I thought it would be nice just to get it all out, plus you might get to know me a little better, . . .

In the last couple of years I've learned more about myself than I have in a decade of living. It's funny how things happen in your life that "wake you up". From becoming a mom and experiencing the love and bonds a parent has for a child, to losing my own mom and dealing with feelings of loss and even abandonment; there is no doubt I am processing a lot and taking on life in it's rawest form. Never mind all of he logistics I've had to learn, and fast, as a repercussion of these two events.

A few days ago I got all cozy on the couch and decided to watch Avatar for the first time. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Not only is it beautifully done but the message it sends is something that really resonates with my own heart. As I grow older and I come to experience life in it's different stages (i.e. happiness, sadness, pain, . . . ) I have begun to realize how connected I am to this earth, that in fact I am a part of the earth, that I, along with all the trees, the animals, the bugs, am one of mother earths creatures. As I live my life, practice my yoga, cook food, chase after Serafin, walk amongst the trees, give birth to creativity, I have finally begun to really feel mother earth and how alive she is beneath my feet.

In Avatar there is one scene in particular that stands out to me (if you haven't seen it you may not want to read on). In the final scene, Jake Sulley (the main character) lies under the Tree of Souls, surrounded by the indigenous people of Pandora who are chanting and praying for him to leave his human body and enter his avatar (see the picture above). You begin to see the earth latching on to him. In order for his soul to change bodies, it must leave his human body, travel through the earth to Eywa (the mother goddess) and then travel back to his new body if it is meant to be. I know it's only a movie, but it really drew home the fact that we are all just energy. That we are born, we live, we move, we feed our bodies, we rest, and then one day our energy leaves our body and goes somewhere else. Energy moves, energy can't die, it can only be released. To me, that is such a beautiful concept, true re-incarnation. The energy within us is not even "our" energy! It is only borrowed for a short period of time, a lifetime, and then given back to the greater cosmos where it then moves somewhere else.

When I lost my mother this last April, despite the fact that she is not here with me in her human form, I feel her in a different way. She lives on inside me. She lives on in my heart, in my memories. I see her in the flowers when I walk or in the sky during a beautiful sunset. Her energy is everywhere to me.

In a lot of ways dealing with the experience of loss and really feeling what I need to feel in my life has shown me how beautiful life really is. As the saying goes, "what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger." I miss my mom, and at the same time, I am incredibly grateful for the experience she is giving me now. Since she passed, I have become more rooted in myself. I have less fear of dying. I feel stronger. I feel! I have begun to really look at my life and make decisions about what is important and what is not. What is serving me and what is holding me back. Really, it has been an amazing experience. At times I feel pain and it can be difficult, but then there are other times when I feel very full of love and open to this world.

I am blessed to be alive. I am blessed to have every second of this life in this beautiful body that is serving me well. Thank you body. I am blessed to have all of you in my life. You are my teachers. I learn something new all the time. I am simply blessed.

My Favorite Soup!

Fall has kicked into gear and since it was drizzling outside today I thought I would make some chicken soup. As I was cooking I was reminded that on more than several occasions I have been asked for this recipe. So, par my sister in-law's idea (thank you Laura), I decided to finally blog it, that way you can all enjoy this hearty soup.

Let me start by saying, I LOVE this soup. This is actually one of my favorites. It's healthy, it's super yummy, it very filling and it's easy to make. Despite the fact that it seems like there are a lot of components to this dish, it's really more of a mesh of whatever you happen to have in the fridge. That's why it's so great, you get to use the veggies that need to get used.

This recipe cooks a huge pot of soup, probably about 8 servings.

The ingredients (subject to change depending on what you have in your fridge!):

-3 bone in skin on chicken breasts

-Olive Oil

-1 package of Turkey bacon (or regular bacon if you prefer)

-4 Chicken apple sausages (or whatever sausages you enjoy)

-1 onion

-2 boxes of chicken broth

-Large can of tomatoes

-1 cup of any grain (I like to use pearled barley), sometimes I use rice or oats

-A leafy green veggie: I love using dinosaur kale, I love how it cuts down and I feel like I'm filling myself up with vitamins and minerals. One thing I learned from one of the various cooking show I watch is that if you use a knife to cut kale the leaves a metallic taste on the kale itself, it's best to pull it off the stalk and the rip it into bits. Isn't it beautiful?

-Other veggies! Seriously, whatever you have in your fridge will work. If you experiment you'll figure out which combos you like the best. One of my favorites is to use different squash and carrots, sometime I add potatoes, even cauliflower. It's literally kind of a, "hmm, let's see what needs to get used and what might be tasty in a soup" kind of thing.

Getting started:

First you've got to cook the chicken, I like to cook the chicken separately, it's so tasty this way and it means the chicken won't overcook.

-Put chicken on a baking pan, drizzle with olive oil, rub with salt.

-Stick it in the oven at 375 degrees for 30-35 minutes.

-Take it out and let it sit to cool down.

Meanwhile:

-Get everything that's going to go into the soup ready, . . . Chop up sausage, bacon, onion and any other veggies, rip up kale, rinse grains, open can of tomatoes.

In a large pot:

-Heat a couple of Tbs. of olive oil

-Add sausage and bacon, cook till browned

-Add onions and carrots (or other hard veggies), cook till softened

-Add soft veggies (not including leafy green)

-Add chicken stalk, about 8 cups, plus a cup or two of water

-Add grain

-Bring to a boil and the let simmer for 30 minutes

-Meanwhile, take skins off chicken (give to dog or cat) and pull chicken breast apart into small bite size pieces

-Check soup to see if grains are fully cooked, if they are, . . .

-Add leafy green, tomatoes and chicken

-Cover and let simmer another 8 minutes (till greens cook down a little)

-And Voila! Bon Appetite!

The munchkin loves this soup too! I blend it for her and she gobbles it up.

A Canning Extravaganza!

So every year I usually get tons of produce from my parents garden up in the wine country. We get everything from peaches, nectarines, strawberries, tomatoes, squash, cucumber and sooooo much more. I usually end up with boxes of stuff and if I don't get rid of it quickly, it will end up going bad in a matter of days. In order to make the most out of this yummy fresh produce, about five years ago my mom taught me how to can. It's so satisfying to open a jar of tomatoes in the middle of winter knowing that it was picked and processed by my own two little hands.

Since little Serafin has been born, it has been difficult for me to

find the time to can, but when one of my best friends took a canning class, it in

spired me to pull out my canner and get back to work! Plus it was a perfect blogging topic! Since I was a bit rusty, she and I decided to do it together, and thank goodness, because I learned that some of my ways were not so, um, well, shall we say, . . .

fit to protocol. Although to this date I still haven't contracted Salmonella poisoning (knock on wood), I do recommend getting a good book and being sure you know what you are doing (even if grandma insists that it's kosher). There are some essential steps needed in order to ensure yummy healthy food.

I'm not gonna give you a blow-by-blow of our evening, that would take forever, canning is a long process, but here's the outline of our evening!

The goods, . . . since the tomatoes were still green in the garden, I decided to get some from the farmer's market, they looked so nice and juicy, I couldn't resist.

Here's a picture of all our gear. Between the two of us we had three canners and about 30 jars.

Since I only have one of those halogen stove tops, we decided to do it at her place, she has a five burner gas stove, I highly recommend it, canners are big!

While jars sterilized, we blanched tomatoes, removed their skins, and cut them to get them ready for the jars. Four boxes of tomatoes is a lot. More than a lot. In fact, I WAY overestimated on the amount of tomatoes we would need. I kept looking over to see how much we had finished and the tomatoes just kept coming. We didn't even get to the last box. We did, however, have the perfect amount of jars for three boxes of tomatoes. We packed them in with lemon juice, the acid keeps bacteria from growing and preserves them for longer.

Wipe the rims, add the tops and you are ready to put them in the canner!

Canning away!

And the results, . . .

Dinner the following evening, . . . stuffed tomatoes and peppers, who would have thought?

My Blog Is Carbon Neutral, . . . Yours Can Be Too!

How cool is this? Click on the "my blog is carbon neutral button" in the column to the right and follow the steps to offset your blogs carbon footprint! I got this from a fellow blogger's website and I thought it was a wonderful way to spread the green. I've done it, . . . now it's your turn!

What a fabulous way of getting rid of some of those carbon eating points. Plant a tree! Just think, if we all planted a tree the world would be so much more lush, have better air quality, there would be more habitats for the animals, more trees to hug! In fact, don't just plant one! Plant two! Or three!

"Change Starts With Your Underwear!"

Isn't that exciting?? Who would have thought?

In our house we eat probably 95% organically, use organic products for our body and use all natural house cleaners. Living organically is a big commitment. It feels good knowing that I spend my money where I believe I am not only making a difference to the health of my family, but to the health of our planet.

Since I don't really foresee myself buying and wearing ALL organic clothing, a very expensive feat, why not wear organic clothes where it counts. Where does it count you ask?? It counts where my clothes are closest to my skin and where they rest near my sacred reproductive organs. Yes, that's right! I am promoting the use of organic underwear!

A few weeks ago, I was in Nordstrom (cringe) trying to find something to purchase using a gift certificate I got last December. I went and asked a sales clerk about organic underwear. Her eyes looked to one corner, her mouth scrunched to one side, "hmmm, I don't think we have a huge selection." I followed her and she led me to a rack of hideous looking granny underpants. Since I'm not 70 yet, I decided to forgo the granny underwear and continue my shopping. I continued to peruse the racks where I did find another style of organic underwear, only these were of the type that give you the "forever wedgie", yes, the thong--again, not really my thing. I wanted normal, comfortable, cute looking organic underwear.

I got home and started to look on the internet. After a little while I came across a San Francisco based company called PACT. Needless to say, I was very excited. Here is a picture of my purchase!



Aside from having cute organic underwear, 10% of the money from your purchase goes to one of the various causes that they support. They support a broad range of organizations, to name a few;

ForestEthics-helping to protect and preserve our precious forests and wildlife

Global Green USA-promoting and encouraging the global shift to sustainability for our future and the future of our kids
826 National-an organization that encourages and mentors young writers

This was it! Excitedly, I made my order. When the underwear arrived, a few days later, it was packaged in a compostable shipping bag (as seen below) and each pair of undie had it's own little cloth bag which can be re-used to hold other precious goodies.


I inspected my new garments carefully and noticed another cool factor, printed on the inside lining of the underwear was the organization that you had supported, in my case, "Oceana"--an organization committed to protecting our beautiful oceans. It couldn't have been more fitting (no pun intended) considering the gushing wound that continues to spew forth oil in the gulf.

So people, it is possible to find cute organic underwear! PACT also does undies for men! My next mission now is to get my hubby into a pair! To visit PACT, go to www.wearpact.com/

As a final note, I am reminded of a quote from Eva Longoria, . . .

"It's shapely and has served me well [on her butt]"

For Her Eyes Only, . . .

Sorry guys, but do you really want to hear about periods and menstrual pads? If so, kudos to you, but don't say I didn't warn you!





Aren't these beautiful (I've posted a link below)?? I've talked about cloth diapering and how important I think it is to use re-usable materials on my darling daughter, so why would it be any different when it comes to me and my yoni? Well guess what, . . . it's not! During my moon cycle, I wear only organic cloth pads. Although wearing cloth pads is a little more "work" compared to wearing, say, a tampon, I can think of quite a few reasons why cloth pads are better.

1. Cloth pads are obviously better for the planet! They are made out of natural materials so when they eventually do get tossed, they won't be sitting in our landfills for hundreds of years. Can you imagine 12 billion pads and 7 million tampons being thrown into the landfills each year (a rough estimate according to Menstruation.com)? Yuck! Cloth pads also only have to travel from the manufacturer to your house once, instead of once a month for 30 years.

2. Cloth pads are better for your yoni! Why put synthetic, bleached fibers near your yoni when you can use organic natural fibers? Even though you can find chlorine free, unbleached pads, they still have some petroleum based product in them. They need to in order to be water resistant. Wool is a natural water repellent which lined on some of my cloth pads. Not only are they soft, but doubled up with the right kind of liner, I rarely have leaks!

3. They are cheaper! You don't need to buy cloth pads very often. I bought my first set of cloth pads about 4 years ago and they are still in good condition, mind you, I take very good care of them and have my cleaning system down pat.

4. They are WAY more comfortable. No more sticky tape pulling on those yoni hairs! Isn't that the worst? Cloth pads snap around your underwear with a button. They are soooooo much more comfortable. Wouldn't you rather have soft cotton or wool next to your sensitive skin rather than a crinkly, bulky disposable pad?

5. They are pretty and more fun! Why stick with boring old white when you can have bright colors and pretty prints (i.e. the cloth pads above)? When my daughter grows up we will celebrate her moon cycle by letting her choose her own set of pretty moon cycle pads.

6. They are easy to clean. Despite the myth, cloth pads are simple to care for. There are a couple of ways you can do it. Personally, I believe the easiest way is to do a wet soak. When you are finished with you pad, soak it in water. When you are ready to do a load of laundry, drain the water and throw them in with whatever you are washing. I soak mine in a watering can so that I can drain the water onto my house-plants which LOVE moon water (not for everybody, I know). You can also rinse them out with soap and water immediately after use and hang to dry.

7. I feel more connected to my body. I can actually track my blood flow now. When I used to just put a tampon in, I couldn't even really tell whether I had a light, medium or heavy flow. It was almost like I used a tampon so I wouldn't be inconvenienced by a completely natural and beautiful cycle my body goes through. So cloth pads may inhibit me from going to the local swimming pool or do some heavy duty exercise, but to be honest, I like to use this time for a little R & R considering it is a time when my body is losing blood and expelling toxins.

8. I feel more connected to the earth. Our menstrual cycles are supposed to be aligned with the lunar calendar, hence the term "moon cycle". Our world today is functioning at a very high frequency and a lot of our conscious connection with the earth gets misplaced by our love for TV, computers, cars, work, . . . the buzz of our lives. Being more connected with my body and flow has in turn allowed me to have more of a connection with mother nature, after all, our cycles ebb and flow just as the tides do.

9. My overall yoni health is so much better! I used to have chronic yeast infections. I even had grade III cervical dysplasia. I do the best to care for myself and keep my health strong. Wearing organic cloth pads is one way I can help. Knock on wood, so far so good. I haven't had a yeast infection in years and my cervical dysplasia has not been a problem since.

10. They are fun to collect! I don't know why, bug I enjoy trying a few different types out and seeing which ones work best for me. It's like trying on a bra, or new underwear. If you're going to do it, why not experiment and have a little fun with it?

So there you have it! 10 good reasons to try out cloth pads. I love mine and will never go back to the "old ways". I'm a better person because of my cloth pads! If you want, click on the link below to see some fun pads to start out your collection.

For the gorgeous pads pictured above (who knew pads could be gorgeous?), try out this etsy shop, they are also very well made and shipping is fast:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/epicerma

These ones are also a favorite of mine, very soft hemp/cotton fleece with an outer layer of wool:
http://organicgrace.com/node/151

Have fun celebrating your moon cycle!

What's going on??

So people, . . . it has been a long long LONG month and a half. Time moves very differently when you are faced with intense emotional "stuff". I have been feeling a few articles brewing in my head, especially since the BP oil spill (my god, don't get me started just yet!). I can tell I'm finding some sort of equilibrium amidst the hardship of dealing with the loss of my sweet mom. I just wanted to give an update.

For all those that are wondering, I am doing ok. It's amazing the amount of support and love that has been pouring out from friends and family. Thank you all. Losing my mom has definitely been one, if not THE, hardest thing I've had to face. I am just in the beginning of comprehending what life will be like without her. The shock has worn off. She is not here. I have moments where I just want to sit down and bawl. Then other moments where I relish in the beauty of life's cycles. I recognize that in my moments of pain, that this too shall pass, and that there is also beauty in feeling and accepting that pain. Life is beautiful. It's amazing how I really do feel my mom's essence all around me.

Serafin has been a little speed demon! In a good way of course. She is crawling all over the place, climbing steps, figuring out how to charm us all, as well as yell and scream to get what she wants. It has been a completely new phase and needless to say, I am EXHAUSTED! In fact, I don't think I have EVER been this tired. But we are getting through it one day at a time and when my little munchkin looks at me and smiles my heart warms and I forget how tired I am.

Once this month is over there will be less on my mind and also a little less to do--after my mom's memorial on May 30th. We are expecting somewhere between 150 and 200 people at the party. We don't really know actually. My mom had a lot of people that loved her. I am looking forward to seeing people that I haven't seen in ages. The food is all planned out. We are going to have some good wine and just have a lovely day. On a side note, of course I bought all biodegradable plates, cups and utensils! Gotta keep with the green! I also ordered 150 lavender saches to give away as a little gift in memory of her. She would have loved that.

Three weeks after my mom's memorial is Serafin's first birthday. It makes me feel so alive to really celebrate birth and death so close to each other. In fact, this lesson has showed me that birth and death, should, in fact, be celebrated every day! To truly live, we must be in the moment!

On the home front, despite the fact that this has been an exhausting time, we have been quite productive. Weeded the entire garden. Planted some Echinacea, sage, purple and orange plants. Cleaned out our hot tub. Got a new tattoo (in honor of my ma)! Cooked, cleaned, laundry, bla bla bla. One of these days I will get to writing a bit more, when I'm ready.

Love you all and that's all for now!

PS
I picked the picture above because I really loved being surrounded by all those flowers, they were in my mom's garden in Napa. I felt I wanted to share the love with you!