Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Omnicient Orcas 2: Balancing Act

The Balancing Act!

Hi sweet friends and family.  I'm writing because I haven't for a long LONG time now and I want to let you all know that I am doing well!  The "journey" has been amazing in all aspects.  If you haven't heard already, Gary and I are divorcing.  It has been a tough ride, but that's just the way it is.  Perhaps one day I will write more about my experience.  For now, I am just trying to move through it with grace and my truth.  The kiddos are doing fine, we are all adjusting to our new family dynamics and have been for a while.  Overall, everything is as to be expected and we keep each other smiling.  

It's August and Orcas is beautiful, like usual.  There is no doubt in my mind that I am in the right place.  Somehow this magical island has brought peace and beauty into my life, daily.  I have immense gratitude for this and all of the amazing people in my life.  Thank you.  

Our days are filled with trips to town, art projects, visiting friends, walks and so much more.  Five minutes from my house is Moran State Park which has a lake to swim in and beautiful water falls to hike to.  Today my kiddos tromped down a trail with me and we played in the woods.  Below are some photos from our adventure.  More to come friends, . . . when I get around to it.  Life is a balancing act these days!

Here we go!

They are so fast!  I actually have to run to keep up with them sometimes!

Silas checking out some roots

Serafin is a nature girl, and at the same time, a fairy princess (note the rainbow tutu).

Hi, it's me!

The cuties, enjoying the scene.

Monday, February 3, 2014

This Delectable Life

Something has been unleashed in me these last months and I don't know quite how to describe it.  A transformation into a new way of thinking and being.  Letting go of old habits and welcoming in the new.  A new level of consciousness about myself and what I want for my life; my truth is literally spilling out of me.  

This is it!  One life in this body!  LIVE IT!  

I've been so lucky to have had pretty awesome experiences as of late.  Everything from smelling the mossy hillside and reveling in it, to crying my eyes out and laughing hysterically straight afterwards.  I have had long walks on the most pristine beaches and listened for hours to the howling wind blow away all that needs to go.  I've had encounters with other beautiful souls, people who aren't afraid to look me in the eyes.  Thank you.  It amazes me that while I get more and more clear about my own path, I not only hear and see more truth in myself, I find it in other people, in the trees, in the sky, in fire, in animals--everywhere around me.  What a cool thing.  I believe, that is how love and healing spreads, by learning how to stop and listen to ourselves first.  

I think a lot of my clarity has come with a release of fear.  Finally.  Fear is something that I have been holding on to for a very long time.  Like a long lost friend that somehow gives me the illusion of comfort.  If I stay in my fear, I don't have to move, make any decisions, or change my life.  I think somehow I found comfort in that.  "Better the devil you know" as the saying goes.  It's not true though.  It's all a gamble, all of it.  So why not follow your gut?  

Sure, I can pretend I'm comfortable with where I'm at, instead of facing my own fears and moving forward, but I won't be any safer or feel any better.  Fear had frozen me for a long time, and I didn't even realize it.  I had become so afraid that I gave into it and accepted it as a part of me.  Fear of being alone, fear of trusting myself, fear of feeling vulnerable.  It was all there and more.  Every day.  Funny thing is, that now as I move through these fears, I don't feel alone, I trust myself more than ever and my vulnerability humbles me and allows me to connect in ways I couldn't have imagined.  

I keep asking myself, what do I have to lose?  Come on!  It's time to experience a new deliciousness of life.  And, that's  exactly what life is.  Delicious.  Scrumptious.  Mouthwatering.  Delectable. Even when it might not feel that way.  I am reaching for the stars friends, come and join me, let's play and be real with each other!