A Star for my Star!

A little incentive for Ms. Serafin to do certain "big girl" things, . . . aren't stars fun! We haven't decided wether or not she will get a prize once she fills on all the blanks, we want to see how she reacts when (if) she manages to complete it. She seems to be warming to the idea that if she washes her hands or goes potty she will get a star, at dinnertime, however, forget it!

The Amazing Women of Wombservice Midwifery!

Yesterday , we had our final postpartum visit with the beautiful ladies of Wombservice Midwifery. I was sad to see them go. My experience with them was amazing and empowering and I felt the need to spread the word. They are well-educated, sincere and trustworthy women and if you are in the market for a midwife, I recommend these ladies hands down!

In the nine months that I worked with Ellen, Jamie and Hannah, I always felt safe. During their visits to our home, my questions were answered and I felt I could always express myself. Pregnancy and childbirth is an emotional ride and I felt supported and loved by these women throughout. I look forward to continuing our work together with the well-women care that they provide.

Womb Service provided all the tests we needed, including blood tests with blood with-drawls right in our home. They taught me about my body, teaching me how to palpate my belly during pregnancy, showing me how to do breast exams properly and even how to feel for my cervix (which I have always had difficulty doing). They always had suggestions for whatever issues I brought up and worked on each other's strengths to come up with a good game plan for me. They were on time and respectful of our space. They always seemed happy to come to our house and put up with our crazy dogs and noisy birds without a single complaint. They addressed all my fears and made space for them, I never felt disregarded or shamed. They are truly amazing women! Thank you for a wonderful experience ladies!

My X-Mas Angel

I've been slightly melancholic these days, not in a bad way, just feeling the ebb and flow of life. Winter is a time to go inside, to hibernate. This will be my second x-mas ever without my mom around and I'm definitely feeling the loss of her. This holiday was very special to my mom and she always planned it out practically to the minute. Last year when we had the first real x-mas celebration at our home (we usually did it at mom and dad's house) I asked Dad for the "x-mas angel". My mom had embroidered this angel that would sit on top of the family tree every year since I can remember. Then one evening while we were enjoying some x-mas spirit Gary pointed out that the Angel actually kind of looked like my mom. It so made me feel like my mom was standing on top of the tree watching over us. And once again, this year, I put the angel on the tree and my mom is shining down on us. Miss you mom, love you. xoxo

Home for the holidays!

(Sweet Serafin getting into the Christmas spirit. I made some stuffed felt stars and she is decorating them to give away as gifts, . . . I love being a mom!)

Happy Holidays to everybody!

This year has been very different. With a newborn in the house it has been hard to really think about doing much besides breastfeeding, eating, sleeping and changing dirty diapers! That said, I have managed to pull out the x-mas decorations and jazz up the house. How could I not? Serafin is enjoying the festivities and I think X-mas day will be fun. In fact, I think mostly I will get joy out of watching her wonder and awe at everything. She is amazing. Before I know it we will have two crazy kids running around! Here is a brief holiday tour of our crazy house!

The hearth, . . . it's a family tradition to have handmade stockings. My mom made mine when I was little and I've made one for each of the rest of my family. Silas' isn't quite finished yet (note the bear is missing his head!), but I figure I have a little while before he wonders what's going on! On top of the fireplace is our snow-globe collection! We probably have about 8 or 9 Christmas snow-globes, the ones up there are mostly the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade globes. This is the first year that Serafin has been intrigued by them, she wants them to "play" and sits there pointing out all the charters she sees. They will be hers and Silas' one day.

The Tree!! (and the munchkin!)

Snowflakes in California??

Homemade Massage Oil

(My jars of steeped lavender flowers just itching to be made into massage oil.)

I FINALLY got around to pressing out my herbs to make my massage oil (just in time for christmas presents)! I used to do this on a regular basis, but since I became a mom it has not been on the top of the list of things to do.

I have made oils from a number of plants, but the ones I go back to frequently are Lavender, St. John's Wort (wonderful for strained muscles and depression) and Calendula (great for any skin conditions as it's filled with vitamin E).

In brief, here's a quick outline of my oil making process, . . .

When you clip your flowers, be nice to them, don't butcher the plant, take what you need and that's it. Dampen flowers in a bit of pure grain alcohol or (90 proof vodka if you don't have the other) and place in a large jar. Poor in organic olive oil just so oil covers the top of the flowers. Clean a river rock and place it in the jar over the flowers so that the flowers stay pressed into the jar. Leave jars for a few months in a dark place.

When the jars are ready strain oil into a ceramic (heatable) pot being sure to keep plant material out of oil. Heat oil on low heat to burn off alcohol, you know your finished when the smell of alcohol disappears. Slowly pour oil into an appropriate jar. Sometimes you will notice a fluid collecting underneath the oil after it has been heated, try to avoid adding this to the jar. Let jars cool and add a few drops of benzoin to preserve. When you're ready to give some away, find a nice container to pour it in and jazz it up with some pretty ribbon!

(Now, . . . go get yourself a massage you deserve it!)

Cold and Flu season is here!

(Above is my mom meticulously measuring out her tinctures to make herbal medicine. I learned what I know from her and always noticed how happy she was when she was putting her concoctions together.)

Here we go! We are already in the thick of it, germs that is! Silas was born just about three weeks ago and this week poor little Serafin came down with Croup! Ugh. Not fun. Fingers crossed the little one doesn't get it.

Anyway, this unlucky turn of events has inspired me to write a blog entry, perhaps just to vent a bit or remind myself that there is stuff that I can do! In this house we do our best to stick with old school remedies that promote good immune health and healing. I have so many herbs in my kitchen, but these are our staples and the easier things to find for those that don't really want to go looking to hard, . . .

Tinctures:

Echinacea Tincture (both children's and adult): Helps boost immune system

Elderberry Tincture, (or dried Elderberry Berries which make a nice tea if you add honey) another immune booster and is filled with Vitamin C

Meadowsweet Tincture: For headaches

Teas:

Chamomile: Great for settling the stomach as well as helping you sleep

Cat Nip: Not just for your cats! An excellent stress reliever as well as sleep aid

Lemon Balm: Another stress reliever, this one doesn't make you sleepy though.

Mullen: lines the bronchial tubes during a dry cough

Nettles: A nourishing source of iron and calcium, also a diuretic.

Oils:

Olbas Oil: Helps loosen cough

Arnica Oil: Great for bruises

Lavender Oil: Helps relax, reduce stress and relieves headaches

St. John's Wort: Wonderful for releasing tight muscles or reducing nerve pain.

Tea Tree Oil: Good for disinfecting nasty cuts, also treats vaginal infections, such as yeast or BV

Other:

Lemons: good for Vitamin C, mixed with Manuka honey

Manuka Honey: Used to treat many ailments and is a very high quality raw honey

Homeopathic Meds for cold and flu: various, mostly for the little ones

Book Recommendation, . . .

I also have to plug a book of which I consider a natural parenting bible, Naturally Healthy Babies and Children written by herbalist and midwife Aviva Jill Romm. It has a wide variety of suggestions for many common childhood ailments. Of course I wouldn't trust just anybody, but my Mom was an avid follower of this woman and her books, she would always rave about her and at one point even met her in the herbalist community. So if my mom gave her the thumbs up, I do to.

You can check out her other books here. Her book on pregnancy got me through my nine months of gestation with both kids and I do recommend her her book on Vaccinations; her thoughts are honest, always backed up with clinical research, and resinate with my inclination to be aware and cautious when deciding to administer vaccinations.

Silas' Birth in all it's glory!

Silas Mikel Dorrington: Born October 30th, 11:19 AM, 7 lbs, 11 oz

I woke up around midnight on my due date. I had gone to bed early that night, I knew labor was coming soon. My body was tired of being pregnant and I had aches and pains everywhere. The surges woke me up, they were not the practice surges that I had been experiencing for the last few weeks, they were a stronger, lower wave that made my body sing.

I looked at the clock, I watched them come and go for about an hour. "Give it an hour" my midwife had said, "then call me". Yup, it was definitely labor. I went upstairs to tell Gary, I was excited. "Are you sure?" he said. During the next surge, the upright position I was in made it a stronger one. "Uh huh!"

I called our midwife, Ellen, it was a little after one in the morning. "Good morning!" I said to her, "It's starting, and I just wanted to keep you updated." She advised me to try and get some rest, start filling the tub and that she would see me soon. Gary and I went downstairs, he made the birthing bed and started filling up the tub. We both laid in bed while the tub was filling up. I was breathing through the surges. They weren't that strong yet, but I did remember thinking, "How the heck am I going to do this again! Here we go!"

I was listening to the water filling up the tub, then Gary started snoring, I was obsessing over every little sound, I needed to be alone and get into the zone. I took a candle with me up to our spare bedroom. I called my friend Mel who was going to be at the birth, told her it was going to be soon. I was emotional, I was missing my mom.

When I got off the phone with her I closed my eyes and drifted in and out of sleep, my surges building in strength and my body getting ready to birth. I remember letting go and just thinking of them as energy. It helped me relax and let the surge move through my body. Gary buzzed up at some point to let me know the tub was ready, I felt better knowing that everything was in place. I breathed through the surges. I moaned through some. I just laid in bed on my side and let my body do what it was mean tot do. It was amazing.

Around 7:00 I went back to our bedroom. The surges were getting stronger. I had been drinking a ton of fluid so I was going to the bathroom a lot. Every time I would stand up, Silas' head would push down and my surges would get stronger. I called Ellen again around 8. "Their getting stronger, but I just don't know when it will be. I will keep you posted." She asked me what I was doing. I told her just laying on my side. She asked me if I had tried the tub and I told her I really didn't feel like moving much. She said a good indicator would be when I felt like getting up and moving around or getting in the tub. She was right. An hour later I was ready to move.

I called my friend Mel, I still thought the birth was going to be a while, I told her to bring a book and we could hang out, she was on her way over. I got into the tub. Labor intensified. The tub really got things moving. The water felt wonderful, the weightlessness. I had Gary call Ellen again, she was going to head over. Before Ellen and the other midwives, Jamie and Hannah, arrived I told Gary I wanted some family time. He went and got Serafin and brought her into our bedroom. Of course she wanted to get into the water. He stripped off her clothes and plopped her in. I continued to labor and she played around me. Gary showed her how to poor water on my back while I had surges. I felt so close to my family.

Out of nowhere, something in me unleashed, I began to wail for my mom. I heard my voice, it felt like an ancient wail, such a primitive sound coming from inside me, not a cry, not a sob, a wail. I had never wailed like that. I had been holding it in, afraid to let it out, afraid to feel it. I missed my mom so much. I knew I had to feel it, I knew that feeling it would allow me to open up and release into birth. I don't know how long I wailed for, but I knew that at some point I started to come out of it. I was back to being with my surges and family again.

I started to get too hot, so I got out and layed on my side. Ellen arrived. "I think this is it." I said to her. "I hope he comes soon". I added as I moaned through a surge. "You look like a woman in labor to me!" said Ellen. "I hope it's today" I added. "Oh, I think it's going to be today." Replied Ellen. It was 10:00ish. Hannah arrived. They were bringing in equipment. From then on it becomes a bit of a blur.

I got back into the tub. I began moaning. I remember sensations. I was so in my body. They had put a cold wash cloth on the edge of the tub which I couldn't pull my head away from, it felt so good. I remember them checking the babies heart rate. I remember them prompting me and telling me how good I was doing. At this point Gary was upstairs with Serafin, he was coming down and checking on me on and off. I could hear Serafin jumping around on the floor above us. I moaned. I was in laborland.

I remember Jamie arriving and then Mel. I remember feeling Mel's hands on my head, massaging my scalp. I remember Hannah saying "breath him down". Then I felt the bodies natural urge to push. "Let your body do the work, go with your body" Ellen told me. My body was doing it. The next surge was here, I was toning, I remember hearing Jamie toning with me. A deep, loud "Om" is what it sounded like. Jamie's voice was music to my ears. Somehow, her toning with me made me feel like I was not alone. Like she was right there with me, laboring along side with me. I felt like I had angels around me.

I remember Ellen saying, "I think it might be time to get your Dad here". He was supposed to take care of Serafin. I actually had to think about it for a minute, I still thought it was going to be a while (don't ask me why!), then I agreed. Gary came downstairs, I could hear him on the phone with my Dad, a surge was coming, "ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" I heard my voice say, I felt my body bare down and then suddenly felt Silas' head crowning. "Get off the phone!" I shouted to Gary. "His head is coming!" More moaning.

My clit felt like it was going to tear in half. I felt myself tensing. My midwives suggested either I or they put pressure on the area. I reached down and literally pushed down on my sons head, away from my clitoris. Relief. Another surge. His head came out. More relief. He was here! I couldn't believe it. Jamie reached down and got him from the water. Silas was born in the caul, which means he was born in his water sac. This is said to be good luck. Jamie pulled the membrane off his head. "I'm glad that's over!" I remember saying.

Somehow we got situated in the water and they gave me Silas, he was crying that beautiful newborn cry. Gary brought Serafin in and I felt surrounded by so much love. My Dad arrived a few minutes later and came in to meet his grandson. It was an amazing birth. After a little resting time in the water, Dad took Serafin upstairs again so that I could birth the placenta. I was eager for it to be over and done with and a bit impatient with that part. Jamie assured me that sometimes it takes a while. She gave me some herbs to help with the surges and then after a good push, I felt it gush out. More relief.

I was then helped into bed and looked over; my vitals, my yoni, everything. Silas then had his turn. He was born at 11:19, weighing 7 pounds 11 ounces. Ellen made me an omelette, I devoured it. I was then ready to rest.

It's funny, when I read over the events, it all seems so simple. In fact, it was simple. Leading up to the birth was so complex for me, I kept playing mind games with myself. Preparing, dealing with my grief, letting go of expectation. Once I was actually in the birth, I just let go. What an amazing feeling. I am still glowing from my birth experience. I feel blessed to have been able to feel and experience such a wonderful life changing moment. For me, both times that I have birthed have been an empowering and amazing experience. I have never felt more in my body and more letting go into whatever the universe is offering me. Thank you to the people that surrounded me with so much love and light. My family, my friends, my beloved midwives. I truly felt that I was surrounded by angels. I am one lucky mama.